Wednesday, September 26, 2007 valuation hits $5 Trillion after private placement round

My blog is now worth $5 trillion dollars. My best friend (now, BFF) agreed to buy a 0.0000000010% stake in for $50.

I will hold an IPO in December and the shares will be priced at $85 (of course, there will 58,823,529,411 shares outstanding).

You can obtain a prospectus by sending me $25 by PayPal. ;)

Learning from Facebook

Om Malik and Kara write about the rumors that Microsoft is about to acquire a 5% stake in Facebook at a valuation of $10 billion.

Here are some practical ways of applying this method (there is a method to this madness) to great advantage in other spheres of life:
  • Propose with a 1% 10-Caret Diamond Ring: This would be 0.1 Caret ring but would make your fiance feel like a (1o-Caret) Princess (cut).
  • Tell your boss you have been offered a $300K job: You can ensure that you are not lying by asking your friend (who will then be your BFF) to pay you $10 for a 3-minute chore such as washing a dish. The trick is to annualize your salary.
  • Tell friends your blog gets 7.27 million-views-per-year: Note that you must not state that you get 7.27 million views in one year. In stead, state that you got hit at this rate - the trick is to measure over a 10 second period where you get 2 or more hits.
Send me your ideas. I am sure there are millions of good ideas I can come up with (since I came up with 3 in last 13 minutes - I just need to extrapolate.)

What do you think?


Chris Selland said...

Congratulations Anshu!

Here's hoping that your BFF has 'friends' in the media who he can incessantly parrot this valuation to. Seems like the real key is to not even bother worrying about providing any justification for your valuation. Just get the media to say it enough, and they start to believe it themselves. That's how these things seem to work.

Charlie said...

Ha! Nicely done.

Then again, if the guys at Facebook can raise money on a $10B-$15B pre, they deserve to. And if Microsoft is willing to pay it, they deserve to as well.


Anonymous said...

Frankly I do not see any difference between FaceBook (let the flames begin) and GeoCities (who?). Facebook is new wine in the era of social networking in a web2.0 world for the back then 8 year olds who are now discovering and playing on the internet as 18-year olds.

Yes the same Geocities for which Yahoo paid $4.7B and the same Geocities which had a valuation of $1B in the days of irrational exuberance.

Your calculations and projections are Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Funny Anshu. The paypal payment's in the email. Unfortunately it got caught as spam.

Unknown said...

I really don't need the money. Its just to cover shipping and handling. ;)

BTW, now Fake Larry is in on the joke.

Unknown said...

Yes, he who (over) pays deserves it. I thought people would have learned something from the mortgage crisis - I guess not.

BTW - in a weird way, this may be the cheapest way for Microsoft to hurt Google by essentially doing two things:

1. Price Google out of Facebook (or at least make it insanely expensive and foolhardy).

2. Create a new player that Google must fight (or at least create the perception of a Google killer in the market).

(As always, I encourage my readers to read the disclaimer. All opinions are my personal, even the funny ones.)